Eat. Meds. Sleep. Repeat (Health Update)

When Im busy. Im really busy. But after all the work is done. Im back to this reality ive been trying to deal with since 2013. 

I want to just preoccupy myself with so many work. With one hectic schedule to avoid being calm and remembering the condition i will forever carry. 

I have been working my butt off trying to learn everything from scratch. Trying to at least help the family business. They have very high expectations from me. They expect me to do wonders. They expect me to make changes. And often times. I am just so overwhelmed with every responsibility given. 

Its been almost a month. And now im starting to ask myself. Do I really want this kind of lifestyle for the rest of my life? Waking up everyday. Working. Going home and waiting for tomorrow to come. Its a very boring routine. I feel so lonely doing it everyday. I dont feel happy with what im doing. 

I feel like i am missing a lot with my schedule. I am missing a lot of experiences out there. 

I dont get to see friends. I dont get to receive calls or even msgs from them. Most of the time, Im the one always checking on them. It gets very depressing. 

Tomorrow is another day. Another boring routine day. Theres really nothing to look forward to waking up every single day. 

As I always say, midlife crisis at its best. 

So for health updates. Planning to finally enrol myself in the hub here in 6100. Hoping to go there sometime next week. 

After camping 2 weeks ago. Been suffering with a pain in my right shoulder. Something im not very used to. But its been doing good now. 

My allergies are getting okay. Not totally gone but we're getting there. Just some scars left. 

Hoping to visit the dermatologist that was recommended to me by my doctor anytime soon. But i duno. Without any source of income now. Its hard to just spend and spend money. Knowing that im not really getting paid by my parents. 

I feel that somehow i am entitled to spend for myself. After all, its for medical reasons. Not some lavish dinner or vacation or something close. 

My parents expect me to just work. Work. Work. And not really spend anything. Even if its for myself. Thats how greedy they are with money. 

I'll blog about it soon. 

-Z