My 6 hour stay with Miguel

Had a very busy day yesterday. Going from one place to another. Endless wait for doctors. Hospitals. Walking. 

But my 6 hour stay with Miguel was all worth it.

For those who knows me well. Im a person who likes to do things alone. Im very OC. I like things planned and organized. But im a kind of person who doesnt really want to meet people i dont know. Its really not my thing. If i do to a new place. I should have google maps opened. Everything should be in order. 

But I went out of my way yesterday going to Miguel's wake. After finishing a lot of hospital errands. I took a cab and just told the driver where I want to go. I basically dont know where the place is. But what I have in mind that time is only to pay respect to Miguel and his family. 

I found myself in the busy streets of Colon since the cab driver dropped me off somewhere different. 

Walked a few blocks. Asked a few people. Heart pounding. Dont know what to expect. What to say to his family. 

As I reach St. Peters where his cremated remains lay. I met his brother at the door playing the guitar. His father is near his cremated remains surrounded by his pictures and a lot of white flowers. It was in a small room. Place was a bit old and rusty. I can feel the saddness as I entered the place. His brother greeted me with a smile and still with a teary eyed. Shook my hand and ask "are you a friend of Miguel?" I just simply said yes without looking at him and just looking at the podium where his remains are. 

Without any hesitation. He said "naa na si Miguel, (pointing to his remains) wala na sya. Luoy kaayo akong brother" (translation: theres Miguel, already gone, i feel sorry for my brothers loss)

I was speehless I just could not say a word. He introduced me to his father. I shook his hand. And ask me the same question "friends mo ni Miguel". I just nooded. 

I sat down. His brother kept me company. Telling me about the last moments he had with Miguel. I tried to keep calm and hold my tears. I looked at his eyes. I can feel the pain. He just kept on saying "plangga ko kaayo akong brother." - "i really love my brother". I told him how good of a friend Miguel is to me. I told him how Miguel loved his family so much. His father just simply glanced and then look away. 

After a few minutes, miguel's sister came. The one he would always mention in our conversation. The one whom he dearly loved so much. As we were introduced. Tears began to fall as I tell her sister that Miguel has always been talking about her. We both cried, she asked "what did my brother tell you". It took me a while to answer her as I was in a lot of pain. I cried for a few minutes. We both did. She hugged me. I told her everything Miguel shared with me months ago. 

I even let her read our conversation saved in my phone. All she can do is nod and wipe her tears away as she reads our conversation about her. She keeps on saying "tama jud" - "this is really right"

Miguel was really a family guy. A great provider to his family. A selfless guy willing to sacrifice even his studies just to let her sister finish college. 

Soon after, his mother and cousin came. We were again introduced. I feel sorry seeing her mother cry for the loss of his beloved son. Ive never seen such pure and painful emotion so upclose. As she sits on one corner, she keeps on crying murmuring how things would never be the same while saying "oh miguel, miguel, miguel" we all keep crying. I felt the warmth of her family comfort me as well. They were really in pain for Miguel's sudden passing away. 

About an hour has passed as we continue to all remember and share how Miguel touched our lives, another set of friends came. Unlike me, who is alone that time. There were 2 people came. Still welcomed by his brother sitting near the door while im with his sister and his mother sitting a little bit far from us. 

As those two new people entered and saw Miguel's picture all over. Tears began to fall. Miguel's mom was so kind enough to comfort them as well. 

I stayed until the service ended. Around past 9pm. 

Went out and wandered the scary streets of colon looking for a cab. But for some reason i just cant think of how scared i was that time. I guess i was just lost for emotion. Aside from the saddness I feel. 

I know you can read this Migs. We all miss you. 

-Z