I'm not usually a fan of OPM. I've never been really nationalistic in a way. I've never listened to Original Pilipino Music for such a long time. But now, im listening to this playlist in spotify. It has evolved into something really great. Though its odd for me to sing in Filipino or even hum about it with the lyrics I know, bottom line, im starting to appreciate it.
At almost 2am on a post sunday typhoon Ruby scene. Im sitting in the fire exit of our building. Over looking IT park, clouds still dark, winds still strong, city lights sparkling intermittently before my eyes, as I contemplate whats on my mind.
So whats really on my mind?
Im actually scared of growing alone. As I think of my situation and the future. Which is still uncertain to date. It kept me thinking who will I be with for the rest of my remaining life should my life be extended after my 50's 60's or who knows until my 80's.
The thought of love or having a partner never really came into my mind until i found myself in youtube tryna find some new songs online.
I guess in my situation where it takes guts to accept and to meet new people. It will be impossible.
Earlier today, mom sent me a message of how excited she is of me going home because of her new business proposals. Im not going to assume that she will finally put the business into my name but even if it doesn't. I would still take the full responsibility of running the family business come early next year. Its a legacy of my mom i dont want to die.
But who will be with me by my side running it? She has tita and me along with her now. But if they're all gone. Its just going to be me and my little sister. Who i cant force to stay if she wishes to persue a different career.
So am i looking for a partner or a business pal? I guess that answer will be a little bit of both.
Should i grow old alone. I dont know. I guess it is what it is.
As I glaze upon the dark blue sky. Lord wherever that person might me. Please lewd that person to me or lead me to that person before the time runs out. In your time. Amen.
-Z
posted from Bloggeroid
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