I've known this person named Miguel for quite sometime now. We started having a good conversation about 2 fridays ago and from there we started sending pictures of each other. Started video calling. In short we talk more often during after office hours. We took it one day at a time. We started to feel comfortable with each other (I suppose).
He lives about 1.5 hours away from my place. We have not seen each other yet. We plan to if our time permits but I don't know.
From my own perspective of him, he is deep, he is very smart, he handles conversation very well. He knows where he would like to go. He have a clear picture of almost everything.
Our conversation every night would be random. We can talk about anything under the sun, and thats what I like about him. He is planned yet he can be spontaneous. He makes me think. He always has a good point in our conversation.
Miguel is 27. Like me. He also handles their family business. Hardware and construction. He came from a good family. (all based from his stories) and also came from a 4 year relationship with someone a few months ago.
Earlier tonight, I tried to talk to him about their break up. He simply said that their relationship was just not working out. He said "he wants to go East, I want to go West". Of course I was pointing out to him that they should've worked it out. But he said "As much as we want to save it, sometimes we just have to let go to make less damage" those were his exact words to me.
As I think about it just now. I can't help but open my computer and blog about it before my thoughts would all go away like it always does.
Its my little knowledge about relationship that is always telling me to "save it".
I've had my last relationship about 5-6 years about back in college. I was very immature back then. But years after years, I guess I learned from people who came along and decided to stay and leave again.
Its hard for me to just let the relationship go. I guess simply because I've never had one for so many years that having it would be so meaningful to me. When I have friends breaking up, I would always tell them to work and sort things out. Because the happiness of being single would only last for quite some time.
Isn't ironic that I've been trying so hard to be in a relationship for a while now and yet there are people just giving up on something I can only dream of. I guess for people like me, who have been single for so many years, the saying "it will come when its time" is getting too old. Sometimes I guess, you just dont have to wait. You have to chase it, fight for it, and claim it to be yours. You always have a choice. And if you just chose to wait, then I guess nothing will really happen.
We create our own fate and destiny, and if we just wait there and feel sorry for ourselves then nothing will really happen.
Its too soon to tell if the friendship I'm having with Miguel would turn out to be something more. At the back of my mind, there are many ways on how i can deal with it. But for now, I'll just keep a close eye on him. If he feels the same way sooner or later then maybe, just maybe, it could be him that I waited for 6 years.
-Z
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