Social Media Help

Telling my friends was a relief. Thinking that they accepted me for who I am. Yet Im still messed up. Yes. They are there for support. They are there to listen. But there is still something missing. No matter how hard they try to make me feel better. Its really not even close. No one could really make me feel better unless you know what im talking about. 

I created a twitter account thinking I would be able to help people out. But it seems that I'm the one needing help as of now. 

I have been constantly partying. Drinking. Its my wicked way of getting out of reality for a few hours. It makes me feel good about myself to be the center of parties with friends. Friends who thinks im well. Friends who has no idea im already dying if I dont take precautions. 

I have not gone to church since 2014 started. And im missing it a lot. But Ive been confused as to what to do. As to how to deal with this sickness. 

Everyday. There are more body parts to be covered because of my allergies and what not. I dont understand whats happening. Its like im already dead. Trying to decay while i am still alive. 

Going back. I need help. Thats why twitter is my way of knowing people like me. PLHIV. Person living with HIV as what we call it. Plhiv are those people who knows what im talking about. Who knows exactly what Im feeling. Those are people who knew what ive been thru. What im going thru right now. 

No one would understand me better than those people who has the same condition as mine. 

Now i plan to meet someone here in Cebu. I dont know when, or how. I just think i have to do it. I have a lot of things to ask. I have a lot of confusion. So many puzzled thoughts. And until then. I'll have to figure things out on my own. 

I'll go back to church real soon. I'll have myself checked real soon. I just hope Im not too late once i get back on track. For now. Im totally broken into pieces. 

Im not yet whole since the hole wont close. 

:)