My Thoughts Tonight

Nuff said. :)

Business Talk with Mom

While I was at work earlier. My mom and I had this very short but very meaningful conversation. 

I was doing my usual work when we all of a sudden started talking about the yearly summer vacations we used to have when I was still a kid. 

Growing up. I have everything every kid could ever asked for. 

We would usually go on vacation every summer along with my mom's business partners. I grew up in a family where the business should always comes next to family. Or sometimes. It even comes first. I grew up with some friends who also has the same struggle with me. We are kids that were trained and molded to manage the family business when the time comes. 

I am still friends with the children of my mom's business partners. Its good to share sentiments with them too. 

The last trip we had together was in Hk a few years ago. And I wish we can still do it again anytime soon. But the kids before are now the oic now. Its hard to plan out a trip when most of our schedules wont cooperate. 

So anyway, while having a conversation with mom. I asked her how Auntie G is. She was my mom's business partner somewhere in the southern part of Negros. My mom told me that their business is not doing good the last time she heard the news and that Auntie G's son was somehow mismanaging the business. It puzzled me. Since i know that his son is doing really good and is also good with managing the business. So why the sudden drop?

Then my mom started sharing that it might be because of the wife. Who is kind of controlling him. Something like that. 

So the convo ended up having my mom's unsolicited advice about me having my own family. As per her own words "This business is really for you, if your family or your wife in the future wants to help. Thats okay. But don't forget that this is yours. And not hers" 

I know from a normal stand point its kind of off. But I get it. 

My mom is just trying to protect me from making the wrong decisions in the long run. 

She said that Tita Iz (one of our very trusted secretary and my mom's right hand) is a part of this business. That she was the one who really worked hard in making this work. 

My mom started her business at the age of 33 way back 1975. Its been 40 years now. She started with poultry feeds and agricultural supplies. Then around the 1980's started a Grocery store. She ventured into different business- farming, forex, stocks, etc. The business grew and it became a corporation in 1996. And around 2005. She planned to open a hardware but ended up investing in real estate. And turned it into another corporation around 2011. (I might be wrong with the years) 

Its a big shoes I have to fill in. Its like i will forever be under the shadow of her name. 

Anyway. 

After resigning from Cebu and after about nearly 3 months. I am very proud to say that I have managed to stabilize the business. By God's amazing grace! 

I am very blessed with this ability to handle money and make it grow. Slowly but surely. 

Since the time that I took over. Modesty aside. I was able to add more zeros to it. I was able to increase the profit. 

I have a lot of vision for this business. I have a lot of dreams. I want it to expand and finally get back to opening other branches again like what we did before. 

I want to take risks and be in control. But i know that my mom is still protecting my every decision. I will have my own time. 

I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed! 

-Z

The Rumor

I was about to blog about my SG trip. But something happened while I was away. 

It was a little complicated. But I will try to make it as simple as possible. 

While I was at a local coffee shop. My very good friend S sent me a message asking me if I was in SG. And so the convo started. She said she has something to tell me. But since I was on vacation. She insisted to tell me when I et back. The morning after. But it really bothered me. So I just asked her what its about. She said its about me. 

I was so puzzled. I never did anything wrong. Or any stupid things lately. Aside from being a busy bee in the family business. 

So I insisted she tell me everything that very night. 

So ill just cut the long story short. The info actually came backwards. But since we already figured out the whole story. I'll just tell it on how it actually went. 

Dec 2013. I was diagnosed with HiV. I told my friends back home about my condition. These are my group of very very trusted friends. 

One of them was M. Who accidentally slipped and told someone about my condition without my or our knowing it. Her name - A. And then. Everything went on as usual. They were all concerned about my condition. I am forever blessed to have very caring and thoughtful friends. 

Around June 2014. "A" being a teacher by profession had this seminar thing. She was still bothered by my condition. Very much worried (or at least I presume). For some odd reason. And I still dont know why. She told her friend named AL. She never gave any names. Just some basic but very obvious details. That the person she is referring to is from ---- and an alumnus of -----  

"AL" already knew it was me. I guess I was that popular back then. Kidding aside. So AL got involved too. He asked one of my highschool close friends named P if she knew something about it. P was shocked. She told J. And S. 

"S" was one of my friends whom I told my condition last dec 2013. So she knew everything. But just pretended she didn't. 

I don't know how to react to all that happened. I was at the airport and I feel like floating while having a chat with AL. P and J. And M. 

My friends back home were all so worried. They started this group chat to help me investigate how it happened. 

But it was M. A part of our group who spilled the info. 

I was not angry. I was not mad or anything. 

I guess I have just been through a lot of hardships that this little thing does not bother me anymore. Or I guess I've matured in handling situations like this. 

I haven't talked to M personally yet. But im planning to really see her and tell her that Im not mad. That everything is okay with me. 

So I got the msg actually was backwards. From S. Then from P who got the info from AL. Who got the info from A who got the info from M. It was about 12hours of really tracing and figuring things out. 

I guess all we have to do now is just to move forward and be careful next time. 

-Z

Endless travel continues- Dgte & Siquijor

It was about 2 weeks ago. Was supposed to blog about my trip after I got home but I got caught up with work and other stuff. 

So I had another adventure about 2 weeks ago in Dumaguete and Siquijor. It was a very good way to relax and to get out from my busy schedule at work. 

From Bacolod. I took the 1am trip to Dumaguete. 

It was a good 6 hour bus ride. 

TIP: always sit in front or at the middle. The back portion of the bus is like a roller coaster ride. Seriously! 

Arrived in dumaguete around 6am. And went to my hotel hoping for an early check in. But of course. Check in was not until around noon. So I had to start ny early adventure as planned. 

Looking like a typical backpacker. I went to the famous boulevard and started to find some place to eat for breakfast. 

Walked around the city for an hour and had my breakfast at Sans Rival Bistro. 

Breakfast was around 150-200php. It wasnt that good. But having breakfast overlooking the port and the boulevard is priceless. 

Also went to Siliman University right after and just stayed there for a while. Read some building facts and all. 

Also went to the nearby sort of zoo. Didn't enjoyed it. Lol. Im not really into exotic animals. But it was worth it. 

Stayed at a coffee shop nearby for about 2 hours until i can finally check in at the hotel. 

Forgot the name. Scooby's something. 

Had some dinner with some friends that night and went diving the following day in Apo Island. It was amazing. 

Thanks to Harold's Dive shop and Harold's Mansion for arranging everything for me. 

Paid 1,000 for an 8 hour journey which includes light breakfast. Lunch and 3 dive spots in Apo Reef, Apo Island. Went snorkling to 2 dive spots but had to give up the 3rd one and slept at the boat instead. 

Had a very good dinner at Gabby's Bistro that night and went to the spa right after. 

Food was very delicious! It was heaven on earth! The prices were cheap too. The place was very cozy. 

Went to Siquijor the morning after around 7am trip. 

The port was hell. It was very chaotic! Good thing i found a guard that did let me in even without a terminal fee since my ferry was about to leave and again, i look like a typical tourist--- LOST. 

It was about an hour ferry ride at 170php. 

Stayed at Coco Grove Resort in Siquijor. The best resort in the island. The place was amazing! 

Went to see some tourists spots after checking in and the Siquijor is amazing! It was very laid back. People are nice too. 

It was a typical province where overated things are not seen. 

Over all the experience was amazing! Would surely do this again. 

-Z

My 1:30am Thoughts

Wide awake and its almost 1:30am. I think i need help. I have always been depressed. Depression is something that has not left me since 2013. 

I dont want to end up killing myself in the long run. 

The Servant Leader Route

I have always imagined myself as a business mogul. I've imagined myself years back wearing coat and tie, jet setting from one place to another for meetings. Long waits in the airport. The typical metro guy. 

And im so blessed to have turned that vision into reality. 

I've experienced how its like to do most if not all of my dreams while I was young. 

Working in the corporate world gave me the opportunity to reach my dreams. And im forever thankful. 

Now its a little different. With the life i am now living. Its a whole new experience. 

I am the boss. But at the same time. I do the dirty work. I remember reading a book about how to be a servant leader. A book given to me by my cousin when i was in highschool. 

Its somehow a shame that it took me almost 10 years to realize how its really like to be a servant leader. Not just to God. But to my fellow as well. 

I've never imagined myself going to work in my house clothes. Shirt, shorts, slippers and im all set. Ive always thought of myself wearing that business casual look. 

But its very humbling. 

Ive nevet felt so contented.

Its not the scene that im so used to. But its something i love doing. 

Getting dirty with feeds, fertilizer bags, chemical bottles, veterinary meds. 

I haven't imagined myself doing something that most of my workers does. But the feeling of doing it? Superb! I want to make them feel that im not just their boss. Im also their colleague. 

There is a lot to learn. For just nearly 2 months. I have zeroed out the overdafts and losses a few weeks ago. 3 weeks and counting to be exact with. 

The business is slowly going back in shape. And its all by God's amazing grace. I sometimes feel bad if i think more about the money. But its just amazing on how God will just provide everytime. 

I want to be servant leader to my employees. Everyday is an opportunity to be a light to them. 

Again, I have A LOT to learn. But with the work im doing now. Its very laid back. Its not the typical corporate setting. But rather a place for farmers and hacienderos. Dealing with 2 different people is very challenging. But ive never felt so happy. 

Everyday is not a perfect day. But everyday is a day to learn and to feel blessed. 

Thank You Lord! 

PS Pictures of my actual work will be posted tomorrow.

-Z

That 3am Conversation

I have finally opened up everything i want to share with my friends last night. Not in every details. But just a glimpse of whats normally on my mind- Fam Business, Health, Family relationship, Future plans and all that. 

Went with M & S last night to watch some show and had some late night walk on the way home. They stayed in my room for the night. We slept around 3am just catching up with everything that is happening. M&S are my mentors. Not perfect but always there when i need them. We may have lapses but i know thry are my valued friends from the very start. I was thankful for the experience last night. All my thoughts were finally spoken. Everything finally was released. From what was going on to the things that are still happening. 

I couldnt thank them enough for spending the night with me. Little gestures means so much! 

Since earlier today i was late at work. I had to catch my breathe working with a lot of things. Good thing the business earlier was doing good despite of a slight downfall from last weeks sale due to some local festivities. Hoping to get back on track this week. 

So what else is going on? 

I have a canker sore. One in the tongue and the other one is just inside my mouth. Left side corner. I honestly dont know how to describe it. But its the first time that im bothered by this. It maybe because of stress or just part of my degrading health. 

Went to meet some friends earlier as well. And im glad they noticed how much weight ive gained since the last time. 

Baby steps and we will get there. 

I also noticed that my arms are getting better. Not totally but i can see some results. 

Im thankful to God for giving me the opportunity to travel, to feel good about myself again, to share my thoughts, to be a friend for some people. I know im not perfect and that there are still a lot of things to be done in my life but im taking everyday one day at a time. 

So the odd thing happened earlier as well. If you read my prev blog. "A" actually messaged me. Indirectly asking me to go out. Basically, it wasnt a question if i want to come. It was more of a "letting me know" that they're going out. 

Although i really find him nice and ideally perfect. The feeling was not the same as before. And im actually thankful. No expectations. No assumptions. Its better that way. Not closing the doors for possibilities. But not giving it a deeper meaning as well. I guess thats how being busy can do to you. 

Now im a little feverish. Still not able to eat well coz of my canker sore. But praying that this is nothing serious. 

Everyday im thankful for "one more day" not always perfect but a reason to reallt be thankful for. 

-Z