The attitude of "It keeps getting better" is somehow working for me. Everyday in the shower. As I wash myself and see my arms full of scars and allergies. I would tell myself--- it keeps getting better.
Everyday as i wake up. There is more Hope and more Faith to just live life as it is now. Not the same as before but there are still million of things to be Thankful for. Not perfect. Never will be. But Humbled and contented.
With my human capacity to understand how God works. I just could not. U would never understand with my own abilities how His wonders are working in me. I may not see it now. But I know in my heart that He is working in me. Little by little. Everyday. Every moment that I am living.
I am not saying that I am now living a very Godly life. But God knows I am trying. God knows I will never be as perfect as He is. But I am trying to be as perfect as possible. Honoring Him in every possible way I can. In everything I do.
People will always judge me. Even family members, close friends. They would always see it as something negative. But for me, it does not matter anymore. I live not to please men but to please God.
Its hard to be judged by people close to you. After all, im still human. Prone to a lot of feelings anyone could feel. Its hard that people assume of a lot of things about you. Think of things they know nothing about. Its just hard. But I have to stay strong and just move forward to what God has planned for me.
Hub finally sent me a message that CD4 sched will be feb 27. Just in time before I hit back to my home town. Shortly after my resignation.
One thing I wish though. That if I pass away. If I die. People would read this blog and share it to a lot of people living with this dreadful disease. To their family and friends who are supporting them. Let this be my simple way of inspiring others.
Theres no way but Up. As time passes by. And as my health continues to deplete every single day. I pray that I may be able to live my remaining days as meaning as possible.
-Z
Email me at
iamlivingbyfaith2013@yahoo.com.ph
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