Day 1 with Treatment

So after getting my 2nd cd4 results last week. My ID doctor decided to enroll me in taking arvs. From 602 last december. In just 6 months it went down to 345. I couldnt figure the numbers at first. I was expecting it to be lower than the previous count. But not as low as this. And then it caught me. All those anti histamine. All those depression stage. Those might have been the reason why it dropped drastically. And my numbers are correct. Theoretically. I only have 6 months more or so. Given the same lifestyle same state of mind.

I went on wandering about my condition again. As i always do. I have always been alone in fighting for my condition. My family doesnt know it yet. And i dont know how to tell then given some family business problems we are having as well. I dont want to add anything to that.

I am taking lami/zido and efav. Completed 1 day already. And it feels like hell. This time though Hell in the physical stage. Which i think im taking a little bit okay. Its the efav that is making me really worry. That feeling of getting high. Feeling of everything spinning. Everything in slow motion. Feeling of getting really hot. Those were just some of the unexplainable feeling efav can give you. Not to mention the vivid dreams as well. Thinking that i will be experiencing them again in a few hours makes me want to cry already. But i know i have to be strong.

I think i can handle the physical discomfort of taking treatment. But thinking that i am with this alone is what makes me sad. It what makes me really feel sorry for myself. True. A lot of phone calls from close friends checking on you. But nothing really beats a phonecall from your family. Nothing really beats the physical connection. Its something ive been longing for quite a while now.

Taking arvs require great adherance to the pills. I should take them EXACTLY 9AM - 12NN -9PM. not a minute late or anything.  Its one hell of an adjustment. But im doing just fine on my own. I just dont know until when will i be okay with this.

I will be taking these drugs for the rest of my life until someone already find a cure.


-Z

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