A message from home

I cant let the day pass without sharing this text message.

After a series of ups and downs. My friends back home and college friends came to a point of telling one of my family member. I decided to have them share my condition with my cousin in Law. He has been like a father figure to me since i grew up without knowing a biological father. I remember him when i was just a kid. He used to be my clown in every birthday party. He used to be my entertainer. He was the one who brought me to my first movie house experience "babe in the city". I remember him treating me the movie. I was his first son prior to having his own. I was their so called practice child.

I was blessed to have him. Growing up. He became my algebra and geometry tutor. My life mentor as I go on with my life from high school to college. My first person to talk to when i first failed my accounting exam. He influenced me in a lot of ways.

So i decided to allow my home friends to share my condition to him and him alone. Its hard for me to think that in a few weeks time. I will go home and since we live in the same compound. I might jist cry seeing him.

Just received this message from a friend a few minutes ago. Since i told them im not ready to talk to him yet.

I cried. Non stop. I realized how God made me this tough. I didnt know how far ive gone. I didnt realize the things ive accomplised on my own. I did everything on my own. With only God as my refuge and strength.

I cant say im totally okay. Physically. Im getting dizzy everyday. Getting vomit like feelinf hourly. Its the weirest feeling ever. I dont feel confident if im not wearing long sleeves. I feel so ugly and dirty.

I had everything. And if it means lossing everything to know my purpose. Then so be it Lord.




-Z

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