I decided to end the 3-month existence of my pseudo twitter account @zach_poz for some reason.
I feel that its for the best. I realized i started being depressed since I started that twitter account. Since i became too involved with my pseudo world. I became too preoccupied with my sick self. And almost forgot the real world even exist.
In that world full of secrets. We post hidden pictures. We post too little of ourselves so as not to reveal our REAL identity. We only show what we want other people to see. And i know that its for the protection of my fellow PLHIV. But i find it odd. Why stick to that world where the REAL world awaits for me to move on. Yes. I might be doing well in that world full of hidden identities but have i moved on with in the real life? Have i moved on outside twitter world?
Having those random people was fun. I was able to find really good friends. But it has to end there. All they know is im Zach. And i want zach not to exist any longer. If i havent met you personally. Then you no longer exist in my world. And i dont have plans of knowing you.
It might sound rude. But im doing this for my own good. Not being selfish. But being true.
Often times. I get pressured and depressed reading twitter timeline. Its like you are in a CLAN. or a little hidden community. There are popular people. Good looking people. Cool people. And i cant find myself in any group within that little community we often call support group. I became too self conscious. I wanted to belong. I wanted them to notice me. I wanted to show off. I wanted to be popular just like them but i cant. There are always be someone more popular than you. More good looking than you. More cooleeeerrr than you.
I know life is not all about that. But in tjat world i lived in for 3 months. It all boils down to that. If you havent met the majority of the group. Then you are just some random pozzie guy around. You have to make yourself stand out always.
I dont know. I guess im not in the right state of mind now. But allow me to make mistakes. That i should learn. Im making this decision with a careful thought. I might be doing the right thing. I might not. But for now. Its time to get back to the real world.
I have to face what it feels like out there. Outside the twitter world ive lived with for 3 months.
-Z
I feel that its for the best. I realized i started being depressed since I started that twitter account. Since i became too involved with my pseudo world. I became too preoccupied with my sick self. And almost forgot the real world even exist.
In that world full of secrets. We post hidden pictures. We post too little of ourselves so as not to reveal our REAL identity. We only show what we want other people to see. And i know that its for the protection of my fellow PLHIV. But i find it odd. Why stick to that world where the REAL world awaits for me to move on. Yes. I might be doing well in that world full of hidden identities but have i moved on with in the real life? Have i moved on outside twitter world?
Having those random people was fun. I was able to find really good friends. But it has to end there. All they know is im Zach. And i want zach not to exist any longer. If i havent met you personally. Then you no longer exist in my world. And i dont have plans of knowing you.
It might sound rude. But im doing this for my own good. Not being selfish. But being true.
Often times. I get pressured and depressed reading twitter timeline. Its like you are in a CLAN. or a little hidden community. There are popular people. Good looking people. Cool people. And i cant find myself in any group within that little community we often call support group. I became too self conscious. I wanted to belong. I wanted them to notice me. I wanted to show off. I wanted to be popular just like them but i cant. There are always be someone more popular than you. More good looking than you. More cooleeeerrr than you.
I know life is not all about that. But in tjat world i lived in for 3 months. It all boils down to that. If you havent met the majority of the group. Then you are just some random pozzie guy around. You have to make yourself stand out always.
I dont know. I guess im not in the right state of mind now. But allow me to make mistakes. That i should learn. Im making this decision with a careful thought. I might be doing the right thing. I might not. But for now. Its time to get back to the real world.
I have to face what it feels like out there. Outside the twitter world ive lived with for 3 months.
-Z
posted from Bloggeroid
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