HIV Stigma

As I was doing my everynight routine of watching random youtube documentaries. One of my friend who happens to know my status sent me this link about a topic whom he think i should respond. 

It goes, "I dont want to date an HIV positive guy". You can read the whole article in this link:  http://www.thegailygrind.com/2015/10/14/i-dont-want-to-date-an-hiv-positive-guy-tyler-curry-brilliantly-responds-to-hiv-stigma/

Today, not only was I upset because of some volleyball game my favorite team has not won in the last 3 games yet. But also because of some Presidential Candidates come 2016 here in the Philippines who have become stupid enough to even consider having a position in the government. Its when you think that University elections are more serious than our national election. 

But anyway. Regarding this article. I can't help but nod as i read the response of Tyler Curry. But I soon reached the comments from the readers that made me upset even more. 

People still don't see us beyond our condition. They see as a walking bomb. Or like a threat to society that must be put to death. Which we already are. 

The stigma is REAL. The discrimination is REAL. The judgement of people is REAL. 

But being accepted in the society i live in right now is kind of less of my concern. My family is influencial. I consider myself infulencial. As braggy as it sounds. I dont feel inferior about how I live because I know I am living a good life and im still working my ass off to even become better in terms of financial stability and net worth. 

But at some point. At the back of my mind. What if people knew about my status. Would I still be the same person? Would they still look up to my family's reputation? 

Deep within me. I know I am still who I am. With or without hiv. It does not define me. It even made me a stronger person. 

I have long disregarded the idea of being in a relationship. One big factor is of course my status of having HIV. 

No matter how well I do in some aspects of life. If the person ill be dating with does not want to date someone with hiv. I cannot do anything about it. I cannot change it. 

But the more I feel rejected. The more I become strong and determined to reach all my goals. 

I guess it all boils down to the choices we make. 

I can choose to be depressed all day for the rest of my life knowing I have HIV. Or live my life to the fullest and enjoy everything life has to offer. Including its adversities. 

You surely can't please anyone. Everyone now a days will always have something to say about anything. Even if they know nothing about it. Thats the power of social media and how people over use the irony of "freedom of speech". 

As what Charles Swindoll said in one of his books "Life is just 10%. 90% is how you respond to it" 

-Z

HIV Testing Centers in the Philippines

I have noticed a lot of pageviews in my blog about "HIV TESTING SITES IN THE PHILIPPINES"

I found this link online and hope it will help others out there who are wanting to be tested.

HIV Testing Centers in the Philippines
(please clink on this link)

If you have any specific questions regarding how to get tested feel free to send me an email at:
iamlivingbyfaith2013@yahoo.com.ph or follow my pseudo twitter account @zach_poz

Viral Load Results

I finally got my viral load results last week when I went to see my doctor for my ARV refill. And I got the best news. My viral load went undetectable. It was only less than 34 copies to be exact with. I have not had the chance to have my own copy yet. But I trust my doctor wouldn't give me that information if it wasn't true. So anyway. I am really happy that finally the living virus inside me is supressed. 

So what is a viral load? I got this online. 

While I was at the clinic the day I got my results. I met this guy named JR. 

He somehow noticed my battle scars from my arms. I guess it takes one to know one. 

By the way. Update with how my the scars in my arms look like. This picture i guess was taken about a week ago when i was supposed to blog about health update but had no time coz of work. 

You can still notice some pigmentation (i guess thats how you call them) in some portion of my arms. But my dermatologist said it would soon fade away in time. 

Anyway. This JR guy talked to me while we were waiting for the doctor to arrive at the hospital. He opened a conversation with something like "so how long have you had it?" 

I tried to look confused. As if I dont know what he is talking about. And before i could even answer he showed his "battle scars" too. Saying that he too got it before. 

I never really thought we would have the same condition. Knowing that he weighs heavier than me. About 80kgs. (Sorry. But i heard his weight while it was being checked by the receptionist. So dont judge me. Lol) on the other side. Im already at 71kgs. So yeah. We looked healthly. 

He started sharing his story. He shared that he was in and out of the hospital last year. Accumulating about 9 hospital confinement in a year. 

I was shocked. He shared his frustrations. His pains. His questions. I remained silent. I listened to him very closely. The only thing he kept on saying is "I don't know who gave this to me" 

He also admitted having a promscious lifestyle before.  

I did my share of sharing my story. But it wasn't as detailed as his.

As we carry on our conversation in the clinic while waiting for the doctor nearly 2 hours. I noticed how he smiled everytime he opens up a topic about his condition. And behind that smile. I kind of felt that he was crying inside. 

It was his first time talking to someone who had the same condition as his. 

Unlike me who've met people with hiv in manila and cebu. He only has me to talk with about his condition. A condition we both share. 

I was amazed on how he actually asked me questions. Questions that I think he should probably know about more than anyone else.  Like how hiv is transmitted. Viral load. Arv adherance. Questions usually being asked by those i considered "the lucky ones". 

I answered all of his questions to satisfy his curiousity. And to back him up with some useful details too. 

After about 2 hours of talking. We parted ways and went on with our thing. 

The talk i had with him was unexpected. But i felt blessed to have shared something to him. I felt honored to have heard his story. I hope somehow i was able to enlighten him about our condition.  That amidst everything. Life goes on. 

With or without hiv. Life fucks you up so bad anyway. Its always about how you deal with it. 

Right now im kind of recovering from a flu. It wasn't serious. I guess te weather here is just kind of new to me. I will just enjoy and savor time with travel and everything in between. 

-Z