I know I haven't really blogged in quite a while. I've been busy with work. So i'll try to sum everything up as briefly as possible.
WORK.
Well work is the same as usual. Ive been busy more than anything. BIR eFPS thing. And everything in between. I just hope that I will soon get credit to everything i've worked for.
Its like I know that ive constantly been checking almost everything from sales, expenses, inventories, hr and accounting but I rarely get any credit with all the work Ive done. With my mum, its always not good enough. There's always this something wrong with everything im doing.
HEALTH.
I recently got my cd4 test results taken last tuesday. From 361. Im now up by more than half. Im now at 757. It was a very great news. It was indeed overwhelming.
WHAT ELSE?
I literally went blank. I feel like i have so many things to share but i just dont know how and where to start. I think after my cd4 tests. I can have all the reason to feel depressed again. I dont know. I feel like im so soked with work without getting any recognition.
As i scan through the pages of our Articles of Incorporation and By Laws. I just stare at the name of my mum being the president. And all my cousins being the director.
I almost feel like crying. That until now. Im still not part of the company i work for. The company i started to rebuilt for my mum. At least not part of it by law.
I gave up my wonderful career in Cebu just to go home and help out when things were not doing good with the business.
And after all the hard work. Im still the errand boy. Doing and working my ass off to monitor everything.
I dont know. I dont want to assume that someday ill be the heir to all of this. I guess im just being a realist. I just wanted to be sure ill take that seat of my mum one day. I just wanted to be assured that Im not wasting my time here.
Growing up. Ive always been compared to all of my "sucessful" cousins. And lately Ive been compared to our "driver" who happens to run the hacienda and ricefields. Like seriously? Dont i deserve a little recognition?
Now. Im honestly thinking of really moving out of home for good and never really return.
I am thinking of leaving everything behind. People kept on saying that Im the sole heir of my mum. But i dont feel like it. I feel that one day. When she's gone. I will just be like everyone else. Since all of our properties and most of our business are under some other people's name.
Its not like im after for my inheritance or something. Its just that. I dont want to stay here and waste my time if im not going to be the heir of it anyway. Where i can be somewhere now working and building my own career.
-Z
