A Change of Heart

As I was doing my usual routine earlier before going to bed. I came across this picture in my instagram account. 

Since 1975. Our company would always have this annual Christmas Party. All of our employees, their families and everyone working for us would spend the time to celebrate Christmas and just have fun. 

Last Dec 25,2013 however was different. It was on the same month when I was diagnosed with HIV. It was the same month when I suggested to my mom that we do something different. Something that we haven't done ever. And that is to give back to the community. 

Being diagnosed helped me see the bigger picture of Christmas and how meaningful it is to celebrate with other people. 

Instead of a party to ourselves. We decided to throw a party to some kids in the nearby community. It was very amazing! All of our employees took part on this event. From my sister, even my mom and some of my friends at church. 

Last year though, we weren't able to do this activity again since I was in Cebu working and I had no time to prepare and go home for the holidays. 

But this year, as I recall on that moment we made those kids happy. Made me think of doing it again this Christmas since Im already here for good and full time. 

Having been diagnosed with HIV taught me so much. I became a better person. I'm not saying im totally different now. But I can say that it somehow changed my perspective in life. 

I cant remember If i blogged this one already. But anyway. Let me just share some pictures. 

Random Email. An Opportunity to Reach Out

I never really thought that this blog would go that far. Baby steps in helping and somehow inspiring others. 

Having someone spent 2hours just to read my non sense rants, my anger, my journey living with HIV. Its very overwhelming. This is the second email I got so far from someone I dont know. Since I dont check my POZ email that often. They would usually message me via twitter. 

Now Im thinking of really making this blog a way of helping others out. 

About a year ago. This blog was just to give updates for my close friends about whats going on. Since its hard to constantly tell all of them the same stories all over. 

Like a normal person. I travel. I get angry. I fall inlove. I get inspired. I hoped. I get hurt. I mature. I learn. I kneel down and pray. 

But unlike a normal person. I am living with the virus so deadly that still has no cure. 

The email I got a few weeks ago is an opportunity to reach out to thousands of people out there that are still scared to get tested. And to offer help. That no matter how dreadful everyday is living with HIV. There is still hope. There is still a God that is so wonderful in giving second chances. 

Before I even got tested. I too had my moments in searching blogs and stories from people living with HIV. 

So if you found yourself in this blog. Its no accident. I believe God guided you in my humble blog for me to share my lifestory that is still full of HOPE and a FUTURE. Not perfect but just with the right amount of humility and faith to keep going and fight. 

You can again reach me at: iamlivingbyfaith2013@yahoo.com.ph

Or follow my twitter account: @Zach_poz

PS. I dont usually proof read my blog. I type as I think. So If you found something grammatically wrong or anything relating to that. My apologies. 

-Z

Depression. All You Need To Know.

My Thoughts Tonight

Nuff said. :)

Business Talk with Mom

While I was at work earlier. My mom and I had this very short but very meaningful conversation. 

I was doing my usual work when we all of a sudden started talking about the yearly summer vacations we used to have when I was still a kid. 

Growing up. I have everything every kid could ever asked for. 

We would usually go on vacation every summer along with my mom's business partners. I grew up in a family where the business should always comes next to family. Or sometimes. It even comes first. I grew up with some friends who also has the same struggle with me. We are kids that were trained and molded to manage the family business when the time comes. 

I am still friends with the children of my mom's business partners. Its good to share sentiments with them too. 

The last trip we had together was in Hk a few years ago. And I wish we can still do it again anytime soon. But the kids before are now the oic now. Its hard to plan out a trip when most of our schedules wont cooperate. 

So anyway, while having a conversation with mom. I asked her how Auntie G is. She was my mom's business partner somewhere in the southern part of Negros. My mom told me that their business is not doing good the last time she heard the news and that Auntie G's son was somehow mismanaging the business. It puzzled me. Since i know that his son is doing really good and is also good with managing the business. So why the sudden drop?

Then my mom started sharing that it might be because of the wife. Who is kind of controlling him. Something like that. 

So the convo ended up having my mom's unsolicited advice about me having my own family. As per her own words "This business is really for you, if your family or your wife in the future wants to help. Thats okay. But don't forget that this is yours. And not hers" 

I know from a normal stand point its kind of off. But I get it. 

My mom is just trying to protect me from making the wrong decisions in the long run. 

She said that Tita Iz (one of our very trusted secretary and my mom's right hand) is a part of this business. That she was the one who really worked hard in making this work. 

My mom started her business at the age of 33 way back 1975. Its been 40 years now. She started with poultry feeds and agricultural supplies. Then around the 1980's started a Grocery store. She ventured into different business- farming, forex, stocks, etc. The business grew and it became a corporation in 1996. And around 2005. She planned to open a hardware but ended up investing in real estate. And turned it into another corporation around 2011. (I might be wrong with the years) 

Its a big shoes I have to fill in. Its like i will forever be under the shadow of her name. 

Anyway. 

After resigning from Cebu and after about nearly 3 months. I am very proud to say that I have managed to stabilize the business. By God's amazing grace! 

I am very blessed with this ability to handle money and make it grow. Slowly but surely. 

Since the time that I took over. Modesty aside. I was able to add more zeros to it. I was able to increase the profit. 

I have a lot of vision for this business. I have a lot of dreams. I want it to expand and finally get back to opening other branches again like what we did before. 

I want to take risks and be in control. But i know that my mom is still protecting my every decision. I will have my own time. 

I am blessed. I am blessed. I am blessed! 

-Z

The Rumor

I was about to blog about my SG trip. But something happened while I was away. 

It was a little complicated. But I will try to make it as simple as possible. 

While I was at a local coffee shop. My very good friend S sent me a message asking me if I was in SG. And so the convo started. She said she has something to tell me. But since I was on vacation. She insisted to tell me when I et back. The morning after. But it really bothered me. So I just asked her what its about. She said its about me. 

I was so puzzled. I never did anything wrong. Or any stupid things lately. Aside from being a busy bee in the family business. 

So I insisted she tell me everything that very night. 

So ill just cut the long story short. The info actually came backwards. But since we already figured out the whole story. I'll just tell it on how it actually went. 

Dec 2013. I was diagnosed with HiV. I told my friends back home about my condition. These are my group of very very trusted friends. 

One of them was M. Who accidentally slipped and told someone about my condition without my or our knowing it. Her name - A. And then. Everything went on as usual. They were all concerned about my condition. I am forever blessed to have very caring and thoughtful friends. 

Around June 2014. "A" being a teacher by profession had this seminar thing. She was still bothered by my condition. Very much worried (or at least I presume). For some odd reason. And I still dont know why. She told her friend named AL. She never gave any names. Just some basic but very obvious details. That the person she is referring to is from ---- and an alumnus of -----  

"AL" already knew it was me. I guess I was that popular back then. Kidding aside. So AL got involved too. He asked one of my highschool close friends named P if she knew something about it. P was shocked. She told J. And S. 

"S" was one of my friends whom I told my condition last dec 2013. So she knew everything. But just pretended she didn't. 

I don't know how to react to all that happened. I was at the airport and I feel like floating while having a chat with AL. P and J. And M. 

My friends back home were all so worried. They started this group chat to help me investigate how it happened. 

But it was M. A part of our group who spilled the info. 

I was not angry. I was not mad or anything. 

I guess I have just been through a lot of hardships that this little thing does not bother me anymore. Or I guess I've matured in handling situations like this. 

I haven't talked to M personally yet. But im planning to really see her and tell her that Im not mad. That everything is okay with me. 

So I got the msg actually was backwards. From S. Then from P who got the info from AL. Who got the info from A who got the info from M. It was about 12hours of really tracing and figuring things out. 

I guess all we have to do now is just to move forward and be careful next time. 

-Z

Endless travel continues- Dgte & Siquijor

It was about 2 weeks ago. Was supposed to blog about my trip after I got home but I got caught up with work and other stuff. 

So I had another adventure about 2 weeks ago in Dumaguete and Siquijor. It was a very good way to relax and to get out from my busy schedule at work. 

From Bacolod. I took the 1am trip to Dumaguete. 

It was a good 6 hour bus ride. 

TIP: always sit in front or at the middle. The back portion of the bus is like a roller coaster ride. Seriously! 

Arrived in dumaguete around 6am. And went to my hotel hoping for an early check in. But of course. Check in was not until around noon. So I had to start ny early adventure as planned. 

Looking like a typical backpacker. I went to the famous boulevard and started to find some place to eat for breakfast. 

Walked around the city for an hour and had my breakfast at Sans Rival Bistro. 

Breakfast was around 150-200php. It wasnt that good. But having breakfast overlooking the port and the boulevard is priceless. 

Also went to Siliman University right after and just stayed there for a while. Read some building facts and all. 

Also went to the nearby sort of zoo. Didn't enjoyed it. Lol. Im not really into exotic animals. But it was worth it. 

Stayed at a coffee shop nearby for about 2 hours until i can finally check in at the hotel. 

Forgot the name. Scooby's something. 

Had some dinner with some friends that night and went diving the following day in Apo Island. It was amazing. 

Thanks to Harold's Dive shop and Harold's Mansion for arranging everything for me. 

Paid 1,000 for an 8 hour journey which includes light breakfast. Lunch and 3 dive spots in Apo Reef, Apo Island. Went snorkling to 2 dive spots but had to give up the 3rd one and slept at the boat instead. 

Had a very good dinner at Gabby's Bistro that night and went to the spa right after. 

Food was very delicious! It was heaven on earth! The prices were cheap too. The place was very cozy. 

Went to Siquijor the morning after around 7am trip. 

The port was hell. It was very chaotic! Good thing i found a guard that did let me in even without a terminal fee since my ferry was about to leave and again, i look like a typical tourist--- LOST. 

It was about an hour ferry ride at 170php. 

Stayed at Coco Grove Resort in Siquijor. The best resort in the island. The place was amazing! 

Went to see some tourists spots after checking in and the Siquijor is amazing! It was very laid back. People are nice too. 

It was a typical province where overated things are not seen. 

Over all the experience was amazing! Would surely do this again. 

-Z