My birthday is sometime next month. I'll be turning 24.
If you happen to know me really well. Birthdays are really a BIG part of me. I love celebrating birthday parties. I love planning them every year.
But this is the first time that I will be planning my birthday knowing my status would never be normal again.
It gets me puzzled how i would handle it actually. Some part of me is telling me that i should really plan out for me. The othet half of me is telling me to just let it go and let it be.
For someone like me. A control freak. I cant just let it go. Im hoping friends would throw a SURPRISE party for me since ill be heading home on my birthday.
As a realist. I dont know how many birthdays i have left. This might be my last. This may not. Its full of uncertainty. Been seeing a lot of passing away lately. And it saddens me.
I want a friend filled party. All my unexpected friends should be there with me. Along with my family. Celebrating life. Spending time.
I just wish that my friends back home would have a program on my birthday. One that would really surprise me. I hope thats not to big to ask from them. My time is almost coming to an end. I can somehow feel it. I want to just have a birthday party. Just as simple as that. I hope thats not too much to ask.
I hope i can be happy. Ive never felt it for a long time. Its all too depressing everyday.
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